Witch, Warrior, Wildflower
For years people have been asking me to share my story, to write about me. I have for the most part avoided writing about myself, I write about special needs and I share stories and experiences that I have based off of what my life is as a special needs mother and advocate. This was my normal. It was what I knew and what I was comfortable writing about. I was good at it and that made it easy. Writing about me, sharing my own personal story that is scary and not at all easy. Being that open and raw has a sense of vulnerability to it and the thought is slightly terrifying, well actually it’s more then slightly terrifying. By nature most of us do not share the vulnerable parts of our soul, we protect our heart from hurt and hide away behind scripted comments of “I’m fine”, “Things are going great” , “I’ve just been busy” , “ Oh you know same old, same old, work, kids, household stuff”. We go through our lives not wanting to bother anyone else, not wanting to burden them with the weights or troubles that we may be carrying, thinking we have to carry them alone, worried about what others will think.
But nothing amazing ever came from comfort zones and I think I am finally healed enough and brave enough to share my story, the good and the bad, the raw and emotional and to really and truly be vulnerable because it is in that vulnerability where we grow, where we are able to connect and help others, and if by sharing my story and my journey to finding and healing myself I am able to help just one other person to not feel so alone, then I think that in itself is worth it.
It has become really apparent to me that most people see me as a mix of witch, warrior and wildflower, when I recently asked those were the responses that I received. This woman that seems to have this grace about her and that loves life and adventure, a person that cares for others and fights for the underdog. This really does warm my heart, when I hear all of these wonderful things said about me it makes me feel like I am doing okay at keeping the mask on to the outside world. I am leaving a little bit of me for others to see and hiding away the parts that are messy and not so pretty.
In reality I am all of these things, but I am also so much more then that and the strength that I have was not something that came naturally to me, it was born from the storms of my life and it was and is a constant struggle to find the balance of what the world sees and what I hide away to protect my own soul. We all struggle with finding that balance of what we show the outside world and hiding those vulnerable parts of ourselves. Being vulnerable is hard and not for the weak of heart. It takes courage and bravery to speak our truths and to share the not so shiny and sparkly parts of our lives. It is much easier to bury those skeletons in the deep dark corners of the closet then it is to bring them out into the light and dance with them. Sometimes though those skeletons don’t stay buried in the closet behind all of those pretty outfits and they come crashing out, causing dust and cobwebs to scatter through the air leaving traces of those hidden parts of us strewn around for all to see, pieces of our buried selves that can’t be ignored anymore.
I am ready to dance with my skeletons and to share the parts of me that I have kept buried away from the world for such a long time. I am in the process of healing this wildflowers soul and in doing so I am learning who I am, finding my voice and making me a priority in my own life. I am connecting again with the witch that I have always been, the one that was buried so many years ago under the weight of the responsibilities that I carried on my shoulders. I am embracing the warrior within and learning to love the sound of my voice as I find my fierce and protect my soul. But most importantly I am learning the importance of listening to my inner whispers, finding the dreams that were so deeply buried under the avalanche of my reality. Taking the time to connect once more with all of the things that make me feel happy. Cutting out the things and people that no longer have a place along my path and learning to embrace the NO and take care of me and what really matters in my life. I am trusting that the universe has my back and noticing the signs along the way that remind me that life is so much more then just barely making it through the days and running ourselves ragged. Going forward with purpose, embracing all of the parts that make up my soul, the raw and the real and I am going to do it my way, with love and sarcasm, letting my weird light shine for all to see. Follow me as I share the many adventures and wonders that make up my life. The moments of clarity and awakening and the days filled with chaos and are you f**ken kidding me’s, because life and healing is one big ass roller coaster ride and along the road to healing this wildflower there is never a dull moment.
Jessy Kewley
Life is Messy, Be Brave
Rambling Wildflower Musings 
I have always admired your writings, especially in that if I didn’t know you and your situation I might think, what a great story teller. You have quite a bit of talent Jess, keep writing. It will make a great book one day. ❤
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